Saturday, October 31, 2009

because I'm 28

this week I turned 28, and it's funny because I always knew that I wouldn't be married until I was "27 or 28". Even when I was seriously dating a guy back in college when I was in my early 20's, I knew I wouldn't be married until I was older (although I will admit I always hoped it would be earlier!) but alas, here I am...married 2 months before I turned 28. I can't imagine being married at any other time in my life than now, but I've gotta say....I'm the girl that really wants kids NOW. and is constantly envisioning my ovaries shriveling up and wilting away with each passing day.

HOWEVER - my husband does not want kids right now. in fact, Brad doesn't want kids until we've been married for at least two years. do the simple math, two years, I will be THIRTY. 3-0. If I have my first baby when I'm 30, I'll have friends who will be raising kids that are in their pre-teen years! It's so weird to me. And I'll be honest, I struggle with the thought of being an "old mom". But one of the things I've learned about marriage is that it's more important to be unified in your goals and dreams - even when it's a huge self-struggle - than to have the things that only YOU desire for that time.

BUT ANYWAY....point of this post -

I told Brad last night that, if we're not going to have kids til we're 30, then dang it....we better live like we don't have kids!! When you live in a small town, I cannot tell you how easy it is to fall into that domestic-ness of life. Most of the young people in this town are married and settled with kids, and it's easy to see why cause it's not like there's this bustling city life to keep you occupied.

So, I want to travel. and I want to go out on the weekends and stay out late (sometimes!) and do things on a spontaneous! and for the time being, I will just have to be content with holding my friend's babies, and reminding myself that my time will come. Just not for a while. And while I'm waiting, I intend to make every moment count.


Mrs. B. said...

hFrom a young mama: Do all you said and DO IT WELL.
Your time will come. :)

Christina said...

Oh Honey! I love what you write ;) You share your heart with such honesty and wisdom! I agree though if you aren't having kids, live it up with your hubby!! So where's your next trip? Have you ever been to Vancouver?? That would be a lovely, romantic city to visit in the winter time! or Banff Canada, a cozy cabin by Lake Louise would be gorgeous!

And I know most of your friends already have babies, but a couple don't ;) like Bobbie and me!

Having kids is yet another area to trust and believe God's timing about, that never stops regardless of what stage of life we are in, I am continuously reminded of that.

Annie said...

do it, do it, do it. I echo ashley. and just know that when you have your babies and mine are no longer babies, I'll have to be content holding yours! the tables will turn!

Natalie said...

Ran across your blog on Google Reader and I have to say...I will be 31 in February and no kids either:( My town of about 5k is full of domestic-ness!